Build A Better You

Good morning! Happy Soul Sips on Sunday!

Just in case you can’t read this, this is a gift to me. It says, “Of course size matters, no one wants a small cup of coffee”, especially in the morning. I hope all of you are doing well as we shift into, not just another month, but it’s like a whole other space. I find September so interesting, it’s like a go into a deep-rooted feeling, anxiety, intensity, excitement, stepping into September. Order goes back into place. And particularly right now, we’ve had six months of Ahh, and it’s a whole other oddity, entering into this September as to what our children are doing and what it’s all going to look like and what’s ahead of us.

But again, those are those areas of life that we don’t have a lot of control over, and you know, you sit in these places, which I’m sure you have, as you try to figure out where everything is going, what it means to you, what it means to your kids and what it means to your relationships. What it means to the world to where we are but a long time ago when I decided to start this kind of business of personal training, that really no one was doing, and I took this leap of faith, and I had listened to a lecture. And it was a fellow from Australia, and he said this great poem, I don’t have it all, but the bottom line of it was, it’s a boy talking to a man, and he’s basically saying, but what can I do, I’m so small. What can I do in this great big world of curiosity and unevenness? And he says, “Just build a better you.”

And when life is so chaotic and feeling out of control and fear is at the crux of it, it takes a lot of digging deep to get yourself to a place of saying, “Alright, what can I do to just keeping building a better you, a better me, a better us. And from what energy does that need to come from.

And the other thing is you know myself, going into, I don’t have any hew schoolers going into school, but I still have those weird feelings that come up when everyone was, you know, first going into kindergarten, you just don’t forget them.

And it’s interesting because we have a lot of stuff deep rooted in us that we can change, and I think that would be the essence of what I keep trying to convince myself but by staring a story, my thought is that, we can change right? It’s choosing to look at life a bit differently. You know that wonderful saying, “Change your thoughts, change your world”.

And so, with that in mind, I just wanted to say that one, I’m thinking of all of you, whether you have little people, whether you have people entering high school for the first time, or heading off to school, wherever they might be going, I wish you well.

I have a couple of interesting theories, and one of them is that our children came to us, that they are gifts to us, and as much as we are here to guide them, and do those necessities and teach them about life and manners and all that jazz, I really believe that they are here to teach us. Think about that one. They’re here to teach us.

So let’s just say, they are here to teach us and they have all of this deep-rooted wisdom in them that is just ready to go, and you’ve taught them the basics and now they’re heading off to university or they’re moving into high school, and you’re nervous, you’re fearful. But what if they have all of the tools. And if they have all of the tools, can that reduce your fear or concerns? Or even your own personal? How is my life going to change now because this person is no longer here everyday, and our routine has changed? How has their world, changed my world?

And with that, if our children are all wise and knowing, part of their goof ups, part of their paths, that don’t look too clear to us, or look bumpy, are all part of their journey, and we just let them go. We just let them go, and just let them know, that we’re right here, we’re wherever. I always kind of joke and say to kids, go ahead, have children, do your thing but I’m going to be that grandmother on the iPad. I’m not staying right put here to take care of your babies, I’ve got a life, I’m going to go do and be.

And, it may sound really odd to you but I feel like we are at this moment in our life that we have had this grooming. We’ve had these children, say for twenty years or whatever it might be, and they’ve taught us a heck of a lot about ourselves, like the most unbelievable experience to be a parent. And it’s grueling, and sometimes, you just want to take a hike on out of here because it’s so friggin hard.

However, I really think if we shift a bit up here, with not hanging on so tight to them and just let them be, let them go screw up, let them me phenomenal – they’re going to be phenomenal, regardless of how and what their path is. It’s not ours to make, it’s theirs. But what is ours right now, is to do and be, whomever, whatever we want to be. We are stepping into another place when our kids become independent. As I say, I love hanging out with my humans, I love seeing them evolve, and speak, and you know, I don’t know, just to really, really see them. To just see them. Because they have so much, I believe to bring to us.

You know, I remember so well, I dropped Joshua off at school in Buffalo, and it was really quick, we built up to it, we stayed overnight, and then I’m bringing him, and then all of a sudden, He was like, “oh my gosh, I’ve got to go. I’ve got to go with the team”. So we had a really quick goodbye, which probably was the best thing but with Josh being my first, I had a…we sang a lot together, and we did a lot of really neat, great, great conversations. And he’s just such a, really amazing soul. And one song that I used to sing to him all the time was Brad Paisley’s, “Letter to Me”. And I changed the words and everything, but I just always thought it was, you know, Josh’s song.

Well as I’m driving out of Buffalo, trying not to get lost, that song came on, and I, I was good saying goodbye to Josh, I knew that I was going to keep my shit together and really celebrate. I just wanted him to go and be and live this fantastic life. And um, this song comes on, you know, as life is, it’s like these songs land in, and anyways, I basically put it on repeat, the whole drive home for four hours, and I cried. The whole way. Just bawled my eyes out.

And the funny thing is, I went through everything, cause you go through, who they were, and even just the birth, and there were many times I would wake up on Saturday mornings at five in the morning to Josh standing, staring straight at me. I would just roll over and he’d be in full hockey gear. Helmut, everything, four years old, dressed, ready to go. He was just such a funny creature, and there he was, off to school to play the sport he loves, and to just grow and be, and I was so happy for him.

I think I was sad for myself. I think that’s sometimes what we get caught up in right? We get caught up in us. We’ve just given our lives to these humans, and now they’re off doing, which we’re happy for them, but you know, what am I going to do with my life? Where is my relationship? What is my job like? What is my body like? How do I want to do this, and how does this look? There’s so much uncertainty.

So, kind of going back to that first poem, that talks about build a better you, going through this time, bringing back good memories, and funky memories and just different spaces, one, I’m going to give you a few of my tips, and if you have any, let me know as well because I think this is part of our journey of evolving and being more aware and being more open to what life is really bringing us because it’s just continual lessons. And if we want to open up and listen and see and feel these lessons, we become greater humans and souls and energies. And I think that, when we talk about purpose it what the crux of who we are.

1. Let yourself cry. Go ahead cry, be sad, go down to the water, take it in, do whatever soothes you.

2. Don’t judge yourself. Don’t judge yourself on what you’re doing or how long it’s taking or what you need to do.

3. Own your shit. Own your shit. So if you’re sitting there in a puddle of tears because you’re feeling sorry for yourself, if you’re blaming people, if you’re angry. Own it. Talk it. Talk through it. Work through it, get moving. Do what you need to do to step yourself into where you are because all of this, whatever is happening to you or whatever is happening to me, is happening for a reason, and looking at it, and really, really chewing on it, will help you move in and it’s amazing when you allow that as opposed to fighting it upstream.

4. And then I think it’s really, really brave to look at your life and say, yeah, that’s not working. What do I need to do to change that up? What do I need to do for myself? And when we talk about what happens within us and when we continue to take control for what we can in this, uhh, really this, just a lot of fear, a lot of questions, a lot of uncertainty going on right now, but what can you do? You can feed yourself well, you can hydrate yourself well. You can move yourself. Whatever it is.

You know, I’m the funniest bird because if you would have taken me back twenty years ago, I was strength training every day, I was running every other day, and if I wasn’t running, I was doing another form of cardio. I was on a structured meal plan and everything else. I don’t do that know. When I talk about moving, I literally, sit down, take in my coffee and decide where my body is at, and my movement can be very, very simple, of just sitting there moving. And moving about, and working on my mobility. And maybe it’s just a couple walks with my dog. Or no walks, maybe it’s a rest. Yesterday, a had a nap – two and a half hours.

So I think it’s that not judging yourself, listen to yourself, but when it’s time to move, to get back to feeding your body well, to hydrating your body well. To maybe stepping back from some of those habits that maybe were draining you a little bit, that maybe are affecting you in a negative way. Maybe it’s numbing you.

I really, really, really encourage you, to take this as your moment. It’s your moment to decide how you want to move forward. And here’s the other thing. If you’re worried about other people in your life not responding well to it, you can’t control it, you can’t control them. You can’t control anything other than where your thoughts are, what you’re choosing to do with your world, your mind, and going in your body, hydrating, fueling yourself as healthy as possible. And um, taking care of you.

And so when we worry about other people in our lives and how they’re going to respond to our changes, you might be pleasantly surprised that they just needed that nudge as well. Or you then, respond as a happier whole more easeful person, and then they react accordingly. And spending too much time worrying about everybody else is certainly an easy thing to do as a Mom but I highly encourage you to take this time because, as I said in last weeks video, I’m aiming for 101. You could join me! And we can all aim in that direction.

And that means, we’ve got a lot of living to do, a lot of living to do. And you’ve got a lot of stories to tell and people to connect with, and many laughs and adventures ahead of you. You get to do it.
So, take those steps, move forward and celebrate. Celebrate you! Celebrate your children. Celebrate life! Choose. Choose to smile. You can do this. We all can do this. We got this!

Happy Sunday!