Mum Mug

So good morning. This little mug might be one of my most favorite. This, as many of you know is by far the most difficult job. And many would say it’s not a job. Many would say it’s not so difficult, it’s a gift. Oh, I think it’s all of that but it’s hard. It’s really hard to be a mom. And it’s tough being a woman and everything that we go through, particularly hormonally.

I’m taking a course, it’s called “Unwinding the Feminine”. It is unbelievable. I thought I was taking a course on yoga and this happened to me in 2008, I was so excited to be taking a course by this life by this phenomenal guru. And I went up and Friday night we got right into lectures and everything, and I left that night bawling. And I thought it was about fitness and business and yada yada yada, and it ended up being a weekend about me.

And this course, this past week, has been, what I thought was going to be about yoga, and you know how to incorporate it into women and women my age and I wanted to do. And it ended up being a course about me. And it’s a game changer, just as in 2008, it was a game changing moment, this past week has been game changing moment. Two out of seven days, I have been flat out, not getting on my jammies, one day I didn’t get out of bed really until 5 PM.

And what I’ve learned that I would just like to share for a moment. For many years, being a woman, being a mom being a business person, was about finding my best. Finding my best in my children and excelling them and giving them as much as I possibly can because that was my one job in this life was to give them my best. And then one day, I fell apart. I literally crashed to the floor. It was our counselor, a lovely woman who said to my children, “you’ve only known your mom as a super mom. You’ve only known her a certain way and now you learning that she is a human and that super women and Moms can fall.”

And then it became my journey of showing my children how to get back up, which is really interesting, not just for myself, as I evolved and moved and tried to rise and crash again, and still be that parent in that mother. And so it kinda goes back to this this mug. Those kids or and are by far my greatest challenge in life, to figure out how to guide them and not control them, which I controlled them for many years. And to let them be because they’re really phenomenal humans. They really are, and they’ve got a lot inside of here and inside of here, but they just need me to know that I’ve got their back.

And what an interesting journey that is, to be able to just step back and to focus on me. And me, which I’ve learned in this course, is this really cool empowered person that has been told, “Shh…no no no. You are too much, or you are too opinionated, or you’re too loud, or you’re too bossy and the way that I’m doing it is all wrong because people before me didn’t do it that way.”

And so I’ve thought a lot about, over the years, that “Oh my gosh, I’m the one. I am the problem” and this course was this awakening for me to realize that part of being this person (a mom), is because I’m a woman, and as a woman I have gone through many ups and downs. All of the births, all of the pain, the nursing, and the sacrifice that is given to…it’s…words can’t even explain what we give as mothers. Our hearts, we just change the moment that that baby comes out of us. I think we probably changed before then, but I don’t know how much we actually acknowledge.

But what I’ve learned the most about this course is entering menopause, being in my 50th year, many many people around me who are ish my age, there’s so many stripes connected to menopause – the lack of sleep, the sweats, body pains. The change in our digestive, in our skin or hair, and all these physical attributes as well, and trying to figure out what that means to us, and who we really are, and again going back to the whole physical thing, which again, just a whole other conversation.

But this is my revelation, well part of it, was the concept of celebrating entry menopause. Celebrating entering my 50s, as an empowered woman, who is grounded, and comfortable in her skin, and able to listen to soul, and her intuition and that it’s OK, it’s OK, if you don’t like what I have to say, and it’s OK if you don’t like how I look, or what I am choosing to do with my life. It’s OK you don’t have to. I am the only person who has to have my back. And that self love of literally loving yourself this body, tip to toe, and that it is me. And it’s wonderful, and it’s changing, and it’s wonderful, and it’s graying, and it’s wonderful. The empowerment component and allowing yourself to step into it, is game changing and this is how I’m explaining it.

All the struggles, all of that stuff that we’ve been talking about, and having difficulties with, and not knowing what is happening to my body right now, similar to kind of when we were pregnant, what is happening, this baby is taking over my body. After the baby, being so depleted. What is happening to my body? Awful menstrual pain and bleeds and the emotions that go with it. What is happening to me? I used to always say after I get through this stage I’ll go back to normal – normal just keeps evolving and to be okay with that. That nothing is ever going to be what it was and to embrace where we are now.

And teaching or living, so the girls that are younger than us, can know that it’s okay, it’s actually a great thing to celebrate women, to not be competitive. To not be taking people down, to be sharing our stories, and in being okay that your story is different than mine. And just listening. It’s giving, I really like this, I thought of giving women a brave space to share their story. A brave space to share their story. And stepping into that uncomfortable grows us, and it adds to our empowerment because there’s enough room for all of us – there is enough room all of us to stand in just who we are.

So although this is a focus of women, I hope men listen to this. I hope young men listen to this and know that their part of us standing. They’re part of the celebrating, they’re part of our whole connection of all of us, standing in our own, celebrating each other, giving everybody space to just be who they need to be, in that moment. In that moment, could change. It could change and that’s okay too.

Nobody needs to tell us how to be. We just need to have our backs, celebrate ourselves and know that we’re all here for very specific reason, and there’s enough room in the pie, for all of us to be who we need to be.

So I encourage you, again, in this very curious time to celebrate yourself. Celebrate who you are, what you are, all those nooks and crannies that got you to where you are today. Celebrate them. That’s where strength comes from, that’s where uniqueness comes from, that’s very power comes from. Live bravely in that space and see how contagious you are. Dare to be remarkable.